Tempest

I am lost. The realization strikes me as I wander down an unfamiliar street in an unfamiliar city. It's a place I've been before, but I have no idea when... or where.

I suppose I've been lost for some time, but it never occurred to me before, or perhaps I just can't admit it. It seems I've been everywhere... everywhere but where I want to be.

"And where exactly is that?" I ask myself, and find that I don't know the answer anymore. It's been four months since that day...that wedding day, when all my dreams were shattered forever, crushed to powder, and scattered to the four winds. I thought I was over it, told everyone I was over it, and really believed it. I wasn't convincing anyone but myself.

Today it all comes crashing down. A simple reminder, the sight of them together, as I passed through a place that was nearly home to me. No, it wasn't. It was home to Akane, and to her little black piglet. Thank you, Jyusenkyo.

Was that all I was to her? A pet? A poor, weak, shadow of a man to be protected... and pitied? No, I can't believe that. I can't. I won't.

I must. It is true.

I have nothing... no home, no family--even if I could find them, they would hardly know me now--no hopes or dreams, and worst of all, no Akane. I have no direction and no goal. I don't even know where I am, much less where to go. Worst of all, there is nobody to blame but myself. I didn't tell her. I couldn't face her. My own< weakness cursed me to be forever...

Lost.

Note 22 June 2003 - The notes that follow are the original author's notes that went with the original release of this story. I preserved them because they lend a certain amount of insight into the writing of this story.

Author's Note: Needless to say, when I wrote this, I was NOT in a good mood. This is my first effort at a Ranma fanfic, and I hope it's good, but it really amounts to an outpouring of the depression and hopelessness that I am feeling right now. It helped, a little.

As always, comments are appreciated. Just knowing that people read this will make me feel a bit better, I imagine.

I wrote this fanfic while listening to selections from Danny Elfman's Batman soundtrack, most notably "Childhood Remembered".

Many thanks to Nicholas Leifker, who forced me to face the pain that I've been running from for months . . . the pain which resulted in this story, but which I must work through if I am to go on. I owe him more
than I could possibly repay.